when is it my turn to fucking be miserable? No because for Marz, thats never allowed to be anything but happy and there for friends and comfort them and give them fucking advice and guide them, Marz is never allowed to cry or be a fucking pussy about shit nope nope nope thats just not in the cards for Marz, she has to be strong for everyone because everyone needs that type of person right? Well when is it my turn to fucking hit rock bottom? I never got that feeling for myself when I feel like I am alive because I am so close to letting death take me. I want to feel that rock bottom and let myself go and not care who is looking and who is judging me, I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about it. And when I am done, This relief will just fly over me and everything will feel lighter and just so much better for me, my mind, my body, my soul. I want it to hit me, just fucking hit me. Slap me around a bit, bruise me. Leave its scars all over my skin. I want to feel for once something different. Fucking let it choke me until I’m begging for some air. I want it to just hit me, fucking hit me, and do it over and over again. Just let it keep coming at me.