“Home” Sick.

I get sick too, of living here, I miss Mexico, to me that is my home, I miss my aunts and uncles, my cousins, watching them grow up. I miss the talks we had and the poker nights the laughs, the smells of fruits and clay. Those rainy days and you can just smell the minerals of the dirt. My grandmothers sweet voice and the smell of her cooking. Bruises and scabs from playing soccer outside and wrestling. The market filled with people everyday and the smiles. I miss my own family. The love and warmth that was shed off from them.  My god-mother, I miss her so much, she always helped me out in my time of needs and always talked me through things. I miss the parties and dancing and music everything. I am so tired of being here every day. I just want to leave sometimes, jump on a plane and leave. My family is my home to me, and when you can’t see them everyday, it makes you think what are you missing? I missed my little cousins grow up, change completely. I lost my bond with my older cousins as they moved on with their lives. I grew up, they grew up. That is what life is, and sometimes I am scared I will never see some of them ever again. I miss those moments, when we are all just sitting around candles lit, singing, laughing, talking, playing. Everything to me just freezes, slows down, and I stare and I engulf in every moment of it, because in my mind I want that to last forever. Every face lit up, not by light or anything, just lit with emotions. I think to myself, what a family I have, I couldn’t be anymore grateful. To sum up my rant, I just miss Mexico and my family, my mom does, my dad does, everyone does. And sometimes it kills you a little inside to be apart from something that you can love so much.

“Home” Sick.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s