It makes you uneasy, knowing things like that, and wishing that they were just never spoken of. You want to run to the nearest thing that can comfort you and hold it tightly enough to feel some love. Last time you thought you heard those words you felt some relief fly over you. This discomfort escape, your perplexed mind finally at some sort of ease. Scared, it’s this feeling you can only help but to feel. Those questions in their mouth, those sarcastic emotions. They don’t really care to be honest. They never did.
You don’t want them near you, that is just how it is, you want them far away as possible, buried along with the past. Forgotten. You know you don’t want them in your life, they are NOT welcomed or invited. You stay silent, and probably think it is best if they stay quiet about them too. It is only fair.
You feel unsatisfying, no matter how many times you are told and proven wrong, it is just there, that feeling. You’ll never reach that level, your just temporary. You are the hot water in a pot that seems to bubble for a while and then just gets turned off, never to evaporate or reach that boil. Luke warm water. And all you will ever be is just a clone. A repeat of what was.
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