I used to think the moon would follow me home, light the way on those dark endless roads at night.
I imagined it chasing after us making sure it stayed ahead.
I thought when the rain came down on gray days, it rained all over the world and some other little girl in China or France was running up and down their driveways bare feet, jumping and splashing, letting the dirt and minerals sprinkle over. Throwing around the worms that seemed to come out from hiding.
When thunder came, I remember shaking and hiding under my parents legs as they sat on the couch, hiding between pillows in their beds, finding spaces under the bed. I saw a flash and flew towards whatever hiding I was able to find.
I recall the anxious waiting for getting my first training bras and “grown up” clothes. When I could places on my own.
I remember crying in kindergarten because the boys didn’t want to play with me because I had “cooties”, I wanted so badly to play with the guys, I screamed at them “COOTIES ARE NOT REAL!”
Santa, Tooth fairy, Easter Bunny, the three kings, they were all very real to me.
I had so much innocence:
Conversation with my sister.
“Mayra, I have something funny to tell you…”
“What is it?”
“okay ready, I learned this at camp: Girls go to to college to get more knowledge, boys go to jupiter to get more stupi-”
“Is that all?”
“No, It’s a (giggles) bad word, I don’t want to say it”
Where have all my years gone? My childish thoughts?
The innocence and sweet outlook on everything, world was a sugar-coated playground ready to just be explored.
It feels gone, all of it, a child hearts slowly fading away. Reality sinking in, sugar melting away to expose the truth of what lies underneath. It’s sad to think of it, leaving it behind into what now seems to be the “adult world”
Moon, stay with me, please? I would like some light to guide me through, don’t fall behind.
Happy Readings 🙂