Insomnia still seems to be gripping my mind, I turn off everything and all I can do is toss and turn and think until finally I give up and I am back to reading or the internet. My dreams have been so strange and he just happens to pop in every single one of them, almost as if my conscious is telling me “You know you miss him, and wish you hadn’t of done that,so now I will burn his image into your dreams” but I did brain, “I HAD TO DO IT, I had to let go, you wouldn’t understand! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?” My dream last night, I can recall it, it was strange awkward, I was in my room with another person, I don’t know who, some kid I suppose that I had just met. And it just didn’t feel the same kissing him, no spark, no tingles, no butterflies, no emotions or excitement. There is this certain excitement that I would get, in the pit of my stomach, butterflies if we wanna be a bit cliche here, whenever I looked forward to seeing him in person, made me realize my feelings were still around, not fading.
So I suppose, my dreams are just telling me my feelings, so thank you brain for making afraid to sleep now, to even avoid my own dreams. When did it come down to this?
Oh Summer, I am already scared of you, please stop.