In that depressed and lonesome state of mind yet again. I am going in circles trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Frustrated with everything that has been going on. And all I have been in search for is my friends which do not even seem to be at hand. The one person I wish to chat with, seems like it has been forever since I spoken too. I feel like crap and just pushed away, unwanted. Basically to make this shorter than me going into depth about everything.
I am 18, I should be partying and making friends, meeting cute guys and shit like that, normal college things. Instead it is school, work then just back to my house, no late night outs, no parties or fun. It is ruthless after time and drives one to insanity. I am driven to insanity, to the point where I feel it just eating me alive. I can’t be like this, I am back to being depressed which would be an explanation to a lot of things. People always talk about being strong and blah blah blah. Is it sickening though when you have shown some sort of fake face of happiness and satisfaction where it becomes the only thing people see in you? And they just think “well that is one peachy life she is having?”
I can’t change what people think, but some compassion is all I could have. Some selfless time away from their minds, I would not mind that. A good shoulder to cry on, just some shoulder to just allow me to let it go. I could use that. I suppose I am just tired of feeling alone, even though I am not, I am.
Anyways, since no one really is around to hear this, I might as well write it.
Sorry for being such an emotional cow, I just needed to be for once a little girl.