Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

What I see, is a game and tracks
I don’t call myself a player,
But thats exactly what I am doing.

Just a girl, having her fun.
Fun. That kind of fun.
The fun where you make heads turn.
The fun where you just linger on their lips and nothing else.
The fun where you run your fingers through their hair and bite your lip
The fun where you have guys falling at you.
The fun where you watch them want you.
And you just tease them so they believe it.
There is a chance.
And you bash your eyelashes and smile.
You wear your makeup to hide your face.
You just play it, you make a show, the ideal performer.
You deserve a Grammy, or some big award
You make people want you, and yet the one
You actually want, doesn’t want you.

And when they start to want something more,
Start to feel and demand something, try to tie those strings
Like a puppet, like a leash, Before they can even put it around your wrist…
You cleverly just disappear.
You become no one.
Just THAT girl, an old memory,
A one night stand, a random hookup.
Because for you, you’d rather just be
Known as that girl,
Not as their girl, not anyone’s girl.

Learning to do this without feeling.
What they feel, I feel nothing.
It’s a joke, a game.
And I am the main player, the center piece.
The trophy everyone wants to reach for.
And yet he seems to be the only able to take it.
he has taken it before, so now to him
It’s a memory game.
That is why he keeps on winning.
A victory!

Maybe a new person hasn’t reached that level,
They’re still stuck on some other obstacle course
They have not been able to surpass it because of obstacles of some sort.
They have not defeated that big boss at the end of the castle.
Is that me? Am I the big boss, or is it he,
not letting anyone through?
I am my own obstacle, my own mind and morals.

Why have I turned into this kind of person?
This person who just doesn’t care about people,
Selfish? Am i?
Am I selfish for just trying to do me.
Ha! Shallow? ME?!
Yes, I am shallow, with reasons.
Trying to dedicate myself to me, and not some other incompetent ass?
That is a fair excuse isn’t it? Just trying to do me, there is no harm in that.
Nobody said I was not allowed to just figure out what makes me happy,
who makes me happy.
And how they make me happy.

So yea, I guess I just straight up told myself,
Play it all and risk it,
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Be the player,
And always remember,
Don’t take it too seriously,
After all it is only a game.

 

Happy readings!

– Marz

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Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!

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