I just wanted to say Thank you,
Thank you for making realize all the trauma
That has seeped into my mind.
I want to say how grateful I am that my current lover
will have to endure
With what you have bruised and left behind.
How scummy that is, to clean up all your shit after.
And with time, it’ll be erased
just as I have done
That my new partner will never be able to grab my wrists,
Without me feeling anxiety
Without me squirming away in fear.
Backing away with tears in my eyes,
Because you have left your permanent scar around them,
Imprinted with your hatred and anger.
They will never gain my full trust.
Because you taught me so well how to hide lies,
So everything they tell me, will be second guessed
With a plethora of doubt.
Thank you for opening my eyes,
How easy it is to cheat, to hide sadness behind smiles.
Thank you for allowing me to perform the greatest theatrical act,
To walk around like I was in the happiest state of mind.
I want to thank you for allowing me to shut myself down
And pushing me to my lowest,
For knowing what depression feels like,
when it comes to opening up.
When my future lover will want me to open up,
I won’t because I will be to scared
Thank you for making me feel disgusted with myself,
Slapping stupidity across my face,
Tattooing “FUCKED UP” and “CRAZY BITCH” on it.
For making my skin crawl, for tainting it with all the other
Skins you passed through and kept so hidden in secret.
Thank you for using me, for throwing guilt into my soul.
Making me believe you had real issues,
convincing me you would end
Your very own life.
Making others believe I was some monster who damaged you.
Thank you for showing me how worthless I was
How much of a whore I became.
Thank you for teaching me the most valuable lesson in life,
To never let someone who’s already down in their life, bring you even further below them,
To never let anyone tell you what you are worth, to not let anyone make you feel any less or
Thank you for introducing me to some of the greatest people out there,
What a pity you don’t see value.
One thing I am genuinely thankful for,
Only thing done right,
Thank you, for getting me into sushi.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you, for wasting my youth away in bullshit.