Observant, Hesitant and Fearful.

“Fear is the Heart of love”- Death Cab for Cutie

That stance always stood out to me.

What a cliche I know, but

the more I look at it the more it

makes sense.

Things are in such a great place,

I am scared,

I am careful,

every word and move I make, I watch.

I am hesitant.

There is much fear in me because I love.

Nobody wants to ruin something they love.

I know for sure,

I do not.

When there is a want, not lust,


I want you,

I can’t lose you,

You are my golden possession

and I am terrified.

There is this feeling in me

that knows something bad might happen.

Not knowing is just endlessly torturous.

This fear is endless.

This love, is fear.

Happy Readings!


– Marz

Observant, Hesitant and Fearful.

Teach Me.

ImageTeach me to be fearless,
Show me that I can live without being
so afraid.
Pull me away,
because I know I won’t be able to do it alone.
Fear, I am tired of living in it.
I want to dream about things that I deserve and do things on my own
Instead of living in shit.
And not keep them astray.
be happy about them.
This realism that seeps between slowly melts that away.
I am not cold
I am not bitter.
Me? I cannot always be the babysitter.
I see the world for how I feel safe.
The best and keep in mind
downside to things, so I don’t keep my hopes awake.
Life, there are no times for appointments.
Teach me to take these risks
Teach me how to simply kiss.
How to love, how to smile, just try to keep that around
Try to keep me
For a while.
Take my fingers and slowly trace them over
Until every detail has been engraved into my mind.
Teach me to have this patience and just be kind.
To have inner confidence with one,
Like the whole world revolves around me
And only me,
Because I am
The sun.
Don’t let me feel like shadow,
Walking behind what has already shined.
Don’t make all this a one track narrow
Walking around like nothing I have is really mine.
I want to learn, I want to be able to breath it all in.
Feel guilty for my pleasures that I fulfill.
Do everything out of love and not have to sin.
Teach these ways to me.
You must know something.
Because to me, you seem so free.

By,  Mariana

Enjoy, Comment/reblog/follow.

Happy readings 🙂

Teach Me.

“Falling” in “Love”

“Everybody is scared to let themselves fall in love” – Hart of Dixie.

Good show, have been hooked on it ever since it came out. The plot is great characters are amazing and the fashion, don’t even get me started on that. Anyways back to the quote. It stuck out to me, for some reason it just did, I disagreed, I agreed and now I am back to disagreeing, why?

Falling in love, its beautiful and everything is so carefree in ways and yet scary because sometimes you stop to think, is this REALLY what love is like? Maybe it was just in your mind, it was just simple puppy love. Although knowing that someone is there for you, cares for you, has a need to be in your life. It feels right, it is simple. Everything about the friendship and bond is simple. They are you’re partner, your lover, your best-friend, your family, pretty much everything. For me, it isn’t cliche, it feels real because I have all those things in one person.

Not drunk text, sleepy text.

So here is what I disagree in, you can love anyone and anything, that is true, but that isn’t so scary, what scary is when they are gone you are just left. You don’t seem to know what to do anymore and your whole world seems lost. Like someone just died in your life and even though it isn’t true you still know they aren’t coming back, but you will always love them. Losing someone is what is scary when you love someone.

“I just don’t know how to do stuff without him anymore” – Babe ( a line from the play I am in)

You are angry and lost and afraid of falling for the same thing again, and again. That is where we learn though, we know what we want, what we don’t want, what time was worth spending and what was wasted and what we are willing to risk. I suppose that is one thing to look at that isn’t so scary. We don’t let ourselves just “fall” no we build it, slowly and cautiously , we keep our minds and hearts open to others and let them slowly into our lives. That is how I think it happens.

Though what would I know? I am just some silly teenage girl right? Only just experiencing a small taste of life in the “fast lane”.

Anyways, I believe I am finished for the night.

Happy readings



“Falling” in “Love”