What Makes Me Attractive?

It is finally getting closer and closer to that summer time, where people start to realize that all their hibernating fat has to be gone and getting in shape seems to be a priority. More exposed clothing is out and sun dresses and short shorts are finally being taken out and dusted off.  And I have yet to move out all my winter stuff… Spring cleaning? I think yes.

Me getting in shape? I thought I would never see the day when I will actually push myself to go to a gym, and now the only thing i picture in my head is the person I wish to be. Thinner, toned up, flatter tummy, you know, girl stuff.

I just can’t help to wonder though, to what I look like right now, and how I dress and act… why am I even attractive? Like what is it that people (or guys) see in me for that manner? I am far from being all girly, I love to look like a bum in slouchy old clothes, I hate dressing up unless it is necessary, I don’t really think of myself as a “sexy” kind of person. I suppose cute, sure but cute is cute; like “AWWW what a cute little dog!” nobody calls a dog sexy, cute is so child like. I always hated showing cleavage, non-the less I hate my own bust size, they’re the one thing that I have never liked because I just don’t feel like they fit my persona, they seem to be just TOO BIG, and then there is shy little me.

I don’t like wearing makeup, again unless I really have to and I hate designer clothes and brands (hey! at least ill save my guy some money right?) and I never really care what I eat or how. I love rough housing around, jumping, rolling in grass and being adventurous and just stupid and silly, that is who I am, but isn’t there a point where its just not considered… well Female? Lady-like?

So really, what makes me attractive? If I seem more like a dude, and less like a chick.

What do they even see in me?

Sometimes I feel like, I am not enough (and I know, someone should never feel that way about themselves), but I just don’t. I just don’t look the part. You take one look at me and your just like “damn, you are one big mess, messy hair, messy clothes” I am a mess! I suppose I just don’t care (Don’t worry though I do care about my hygiene. Although seriously!!

DO GUYS EVEN LIKE THAT?

I am who I am, and I can’t change that, I won’t change that.

I just feel like sometimes “they” are embarrassed to be seen around me, knowing there are other girls who dress well, always look their finest, show off their “curves”, just always look like models. Then curiosity is induced, and paranoia starts to weave in and my brain starts to panic “does he look at other girls? I mean he is a guy, but does he wish I dressed like that sometimes? He could have someone prettier, I know for sure, they would probably look better together, everyone would stare at them in admiration”

So why do “they” just accept me?

What do they see in me?

What makes me attractive?

 

Comment/Like/Follow.

Happy Readings 🙂

– Marz

Advertisements
What Makes Me Attractive?

A Change in Heart.

So this year instead of Mexico I have decided to travel.

Travel somewhere new, bold and exciting.

I have it all planned out.

And while sure, I might be doing something out of the ordinary but who ever said that wasn’t a good thing? I am in search for something and I plan to find it. Can’t I just reach my pursuit of happiness? And if so, what is going to happen to me afterwards? I feel like as complex species we spend our life trying to satisfy ourselves and everyone that we do not just think about what really makes us happy.

I just want to find a little escape for a while, forget about life back home, be someone new and bold, confident and beautiful, I mean don’t we all?. Or is that all just cliche?

I think it is one of those characters that is a must to have. Especially to the place I plan on going to.

So fingers crossed and my lips are locked, it is up up and away I go. And by god is it going to be spectacular.

 

A Change in Heart.

Hanging On Hopeless, Silly and Forgotten Dream.

Screen shot 2013-02-05 at 10.40.10 AM

Her cheeks pink, resting on the pillow.

With his lips resting on her neck,

his soft breaths leaving a sense of humidity.

It tickled the hairs on her back.

A long sigh.

Messy hair,

scratches of good sex.

makeup smeared under her eyes.

He held her, cradling her into his arms.

“You are so pretty”

Her lips kissed the top of his forehead.

She felt his grip tighten, and his head fell back

into place.

He closed his eyes, and she shut hers.

How she wished,

that could be them,

everyday.

The silly hope, that the dream,

that once was,

was not dead,

simply buried.

Although perhaps she

was just a

silly

foolish

girl.

Hanging onto a hopeless dream,

never to be.

To fall back to what was left

when there is a monster in the same bed,

and he is making his way back in slowly.

It is her fault, because she is letting, so willing,

So giving.

So she plays it safe,

“Don’t let him take anymore, you already gave too much, you already gave in”

So she keeps hanging onto her

lost

hopeless

and forgotten dream.

Always just hoping.

Happy Readings!!

Comment/Follow/ LIKE.

By: Marz

Hanging On Hopeless, Silly and Forgotten Dream.

Night time

Nights like these sometimes makes you want to kill yourself.

They make you want to scream and toss, an endless never resting movement.

Forcing insomnia to sink into your skin and make you itch.

Scratching until the blood gets under your fingernails.

One side, to the other, same walls all around.

You know those nights where you have your eyes closed and thoughts just seep in.

The nights when you wonder what is your purpose in life. What actions are you taking to fulfill it and define who you are.

Life is so fragile and you could be dead in a second. Being on this earth is a privilege, to see and experience everything exactly how it was placed, because there is a true beauty to it that only privileged eyes can see. There are those nights where you just feel like you don’t deserve to have that privilege mother earth has given to you because all you can think is “Why me? What great have I done?”

And you put yourself in the middle, hold your life in your hands, and everything you were is now nothing. Slowly you fade from the minds of others because everyone you knew is now forgetting or departing as well from the earth, becoming only a painful memory of why?

Life, it’s a fragile thing isn’t it?

You know those late nights, where you just want to kill yourself, just to make sure you’re were alive, that everything you had seen, the sins, the good, the evil, the beauty, everything. That it was real and you lived it all.

 

Happy readings!

Comment/like/follow.

Finally blogged haha!

– Marz.

 

 

Night time

Stars have secrets.

The way they shine and stay up there to themselves.
There age that seems unknown to us all.
The dust that goes through our blood
A super nova.
A massive black hole. 


Ever seen a star ripped apart by a darken hole?
Sucking it in as if it is nothing.
Ripping everything and flying out into the unknown.
You almost feel sorry for the stars.
Why matter when there are millions of others to suck the life out of.
From shapes and sizes, they all carry their secrets.
What has flown by them.
They have seen from what humans have not discovered.
She carries such warmth in her, casting down.
Seeping through the atmosphere and allowing shadows to play,
Life to grow.
It’s their secret how they wish to see things happen.

They just watch, that is all they can do.
They don’t have voices,
Star’s have secrets,
Our secrets.
When you are out at night pondering on what life has given you.
When you are lost.
When you have great new to share.
Speak to them, trust them,
They hold those secrets

Star’s secrets.
They never let them go,
Not even when
they are ripped apart from
a black hole.

 

Happy readings.

Comment/Like/Follow.

– Mariana R.

Stars have secrets.

Vanity v.s Beauty

I don’t need my friends to tell me to my face that I am pretty and have the best this or that.

I don’t need my boyfriend to tell me that I am perfect.

I don’t need my family to tell me I am looking great.

No I have me to tell myself, because I KNOW I look pretty, not flawless pretty, but just natural pretty I guess you can call it.

Yea you’re probably thinking “wow what a cocky little bitch

NO, you see it doesn’t matter how many times someone goes up to you and says “you’re hot, you’re beautiful, you’re SO pretty” because it will never count if you don’t think so yourself. I use to ignore mirrors, maybe just glance in the morning when brushing my teeth to make sure there good or to fix my hair. I never sat down and just stared, but the day I did that, I was like wow, I have great skin, beautiful eyes I am grateful for, straight teeth, soft shiny brown hair and a pretty straight nose, I am really pretty.

So why avoid mirrors all this time if I noticed this, I was avoiding the other side, vanity. I was scared to become some narcissistic asshole. I was afraid of missing things instead of staring at my own reflections. Things can happen in the blink of an eye. So what if I missed something because I was to worried about my face being a mess or I just needed to make sure I was still pretty?  I am who I am and one thing I am certain of is that I am not rich. Can’t change my image from head to toe.  I am happy with the way I am, of course there are some tweaks here and there but I can only go so far to be satisfied. You become obssesed with yourself, and only you. And those around you can’t stand you anymore.

“GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF!” (they probably would say)

So when vanity v.s beauty there is only one that is true to it’s meaning. If you think you are beautiful that’s great, because it is what you should think.

Vanity v.s Beauty