And in my mind,I just hope you dont feel it.
The existential bummer mixed with the heart ache.
That all these feelings disappear
I hope for your sake.
From the pit of my stomach to the bottom of my heart,
All you did was take me,
fill me with memories, seamen and fake happiness
in all my empty cracks.
You made me believe that forever was now
and now was all we had.
And like nothing and yet everything I meant to you.
I felt almost lost.
It seemed out of the blue.
You told me the worst parts and now what do I do?
with those little bits of information
The way you hate something,
The way you sleep and dream.
I take them all like hits.
Hits to the chest, to the head
How can you let me just lay in my bed
If everything that was
Could have been
Should have been
You cling to me
A heart break,
That’s what you left me.
It wasn’t the imprint of ur laugh,
The way you smiled.
It wasn’t the way I perfectly slept in your arms,
head nuzzled into your shoulder
The way we synced,
You moved, I moved,
You cried, I cried
You danced, I danced
Now the past tense,
everything that was.
The way I fell in love with the simplicity of brown in your eyes
the way you held me when I was scared of the storms.
I called you pumpkin, and I was honey bunny,
I would show you stupid videos,
sitting in your car,
only to spend a few more minutes in your world.
Faded away is now the feeling of you making love to my body every nip,
I let you in,
Inside my body, inside my mind, inside my soul,
I let you into every inch and crevice.
I trusted you.
I was open
The words of your lips escaping, saying I was your everything.
Now reduced to merely nothing.
It wasn’t the way you walked or held yourself as a “man”,
Your admiral attitude and ambition I had once admired in pride.
No you left me with the worst
You left me with your words of hatred
With what you really thought
after all this time.
You left me, but before you did, you kicked me to my low.
What a low blow.
You didn’t leave with just a heart ache,
You left me with disappointment
Diss, a diss, an insult written in words brightened and embedded through a screen with no regret or feelings of remorse.
A tasteless attack on my insecurities,
You left me wondering if I ever even was good enough, if I ever was a goddess before you that you also blindly loved as I had once before,
You were everything to me,
It was one sided,
Unlike your face.
you damaged this.
The last memory damaged by your actions, and the intention of hurt.
How could someone I have loved done that so easily without hesitation.