Bed Sheets

It is a feeling out place

when I am not nudged between the sheets

and his body.

Nestled between the moment of bliss and lust

balanced with the perfect shape

between his lips and our fate.

The minds of dreamers mixed with wonders,

and the dash of over thinkers,

 with tucked away secrets

into those bed sheets.

Yet heartbeat at ease calms the youthful minds

proving that life outside is a tease of its own kind

He makes it feel safe

allowing to explore and

to expose my vulnerability.

We play all day, and through the night,

and we seem to forget about life outside

It just him and I

Everything is right.

It is a sculpted love,

and we have shaped it so perfectly.

Tucked away so effortlessly.

Bed Sheets

The Irony of The Universe

Things become so ironic, in the best ways, that it just makes me chuckle and smile. So how to explain this, my best friend, became my best friend, because he said something that was miss interpretided into causing me to lose my best friend…

WAIT… rewind on that… how does that work?

Now you are all probablly asuming how crazy I am… how can you be best friends with someone like that?

Simple… he did me the best favor anyone could have done. I know that seems so strange, but it is true. Without my best friend, I wouldn’t be where I am today. And trust me, he always apologizes to me and how horrible he felt if he had known what the damage would have been, but honestly, it was for the best!!

I imagined my life one night if he had never done that, I imagined how depressed I would be still, How I would of still been in that toxic cycle with X, going through the mind fucks, the manipulative abuse, the lies and feeling like the lowest person ever. How I would of never met my current love *yes thats right, I decided to start dating again and open my world up… 4 months strong and its been amazing*, I probably wouldnt have gone on all these memorable adventures, or finding my boyfriend as pretty much being my music rave mate soulmate, no mind games, no lies, no stress, no doubting, we just live, we laugh and we do it so well that its beautiful. I ended up making some of the most important connections because of my bestfriend, had one of the best summers and I cant regret any of it.

I feel happy and healthy and I can say it with a straight face.

Peace, I am at peace, what I had been searching in me and around me, it is all at peace.

I owe it all to my best friend, I owe him from breaking me apart from the toxic waste in my life, for pushing me to give someone who became somebody important a chance, I owe him for the advice and memorable nights we have had. He always says sorry… Yet I amm always saying thank you.

Isnt it fantastic how the universe can work in the best of ways?

|It is almost Ironic|

Although, when it is to my favor… who am I to complain to 🙂

 

Happy Readings my Misfits

  • Marz

 

The Irony of The Universe

.Decaying and Expired.

I wish there was some sort of manual written for your life, things would seem safer I suppose, you would be able to avoid the tragic things without the surprises that lurked darkly behind.

In a world of feeling a misfit and out of place, fitting in with life itself never seemed to be such an option. It is just confusing as ever, floating around attempting to keep what is left together. Has been it a struggle? Perhaps in ways, yes and in other ways I can’t be more grateful about it. School, Family, Break ups, the minimal drama at my job… its all been there for me to soak up.

Bored, we all get bored we grow desperate in search of something more, something to satisfy better, something to tame this gluttony for human existence. We lunge with the risks in mind, “But I am here, I am alive and this is who I am now”

I have recently been in the process of figuring out myself, do not get me wrong I know more or less the person I am to others, but there is this thirst for finding inner peace, with my body and soul. I should have gone on this journey a while ago when I had the opportunity.

Everything is so temporary, and yet we hold onto everything as if it was to last forever, things fall into an end, and when you keep pushing it forward, it only becomes more and more stale. Somethings are better left to when they expired, when something is in a process of decay, we can always grow something new from that pile of shit we put ourselves in.

So I must grow.

.Decaying and Expired.

Hanging On Hopeless, Silly and Forgotten Dream.

Screen shot 2013-02-05 at 10.40.10 AM

Her cheeks pink, resting on the pillow.

With his lips resting on her neck,

his soft breaths leaving a sense of humidity.

It tickled the hairs on her back.

A long sigh.

Messy hair,

scratches of good sex.

makeup smeared under her eyes.

He held her, cradling her into his arms.

“You are so pretty”

Her lips kissed the top of his forehead.

She felt his grip tighten, and his head fell back

into place.

He closed his eyes, and she shut hers.

How she wished,

that could be them,

everyday.

The silly hope, that the dream,

that once was,

was not dead,

simply buried.

Although perhaps she

was just a

silly

foolish

girl.

Hanging onto a hopeless dream,

never to be.

To fall back to what was left

when there is a monster in the same bed,

and he is making his way back in slowly.

It is her fault, because she is letting, so willing,

So giving.

So she plays it safe,

“Don’t let him take anymore, you already gave too much, you already gave in”

So she keeps hanging onto her

lost

hopeless

and forgotten dream.

Always just hoping.

Happy Readings!!

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By: Marz

Hanging On Hopeless, Silly and Forgotten Dream.

Night time

Nights like these sometimes makes you want to kill yourself.

They make you want to scream and toss, an endless never resting movement.

Forcing insomnia to sink into your skin and make you itch.

Scratching until the blood gets under your fingernails.

One side, to the other, same walls all around.

You know those nights where you have your eyes closed and thoughts just seep in.

The nights when you wonder what is your purpose in life. What actions are you taking to fulfill it and define who you are.

Life is so fragile and you could be dead in a second. Being on this earth is a privilege, to see and experience everything exactly how it was placed, because there is a true beauty to it that only privileged eyes can see. There are those nights where you just feel like you don’t deserve to have that privilege mother earth has given to you because all you can think is “Why me? What great have I done?”

And you put yourself in the middle, hold your life in your hands, and everything you were is now nothing. Slowly you fade from the minds of others because everyone you knew is now forgetting or departing as well from the earth, becoming only a painful memory of why?

Life, it’s a fragile thing isn’t it?

You know those late nights, where you just want to kill yourself, just to make sure you’re were alive, that everything you had seen, the sins, the good, the evil, the beauty, everything. That it was real and you lived it all.

 

Happy readings!

Comment/like/follow.

Finally blogged haha!

– Marz.

 

 

Night time

Someday You will be Loved – Death Cab for Cutie.

I once knew a girl
  In the years of my youth
  With eyes like the summer
  All beauty and truth
  In the morning I fled
  Left a note and it read
  Someday you will be loved.
 I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
  Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
  As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
  Someday you will be loved
 You'll be loved you'll be loved
  Like you never have known
  The memories of me
  Will seem more like bad dreams
  Just a series of blurs
  Like I never occurred
  Someday you will be loved
 You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
  And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
  But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
  Someday you will be loved
 You'll be loved you'll be loved
  Like you never have known
  The memories of me
  Will seem more like bad dreams
  Just a series of blurs
  Like I never occurred
  Someday you will be loved
 You'll be loved you'll be loved
  Like you never have known
  The memories of me
  Will seem more like bad dreams
  Just a series of blurs
  Like I never occurred
  Someday you will be loved
  Someday you will be loved

Has to be one of my favorite songs perhaps.

Happy Listening.

Someday You will be Loved – Death Cab for Cutie.

I see you.

Blocked mind from the winter frost slowly melts.
Cold hands, type away
Bitter and sharp wind slaps the face. 
The feeling of always being watched,
Stalked, viewed, analyzed.
I can see you watching me.
Trapped in a world that is so wide.
Is that even possible?
To feel suffocated, yet it is not possible?
With so many doors, so many vast options.
Endless thoughts and dreams that travel.
Imagination that can run so free without boundaries.
The thought of being trapped,
And yet
It seems impossible.
Where I sit, I feel it,
Eyes pressed against my back.
Burning through the thin wind breaker
Scarring into the pale skin where sun has not been.
The paranoia that settles, makes the hairs stand.
Someone is watching you, someone is always watching you, Don’t turn around.
but this here, my life, is your play set.
I run and run, looking for the exit door.
Screaming for some sound.
Everything had to do with control.
A mute button, left,up,right,down,
To Control me.
The wind slaps my face,
It’s really your ice cold breath
With the stench of satisfaction and the hint of lust that lingers.
You have me trapped, cornered!
Congratulations. You have won.

 

– Mariana

Happy readings!

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I see you.