Night time

Nights like these sometimes makes you want to kill yourself.

They make you want to scream and toss, an endless never resting movement.

Forcing insomnia to sink into your skin and make you itch.

Scratching until the blood gets under your fingernails.

One side, to the other, same walls all around.

You know those nights where you have your eyes closed and thoughts just seep in.

The nights when you wonder what is your purpose in life. What actions are you taking to fulfill it and define who you are.

Life is so fragile and you could be dead in a second. Being on this earth is a privilege, to see and experience everything exactly how it was placed, because there is a true beauty to it that only privileged eyes can see. There are those nights where you just feel like you don’t deserve to have that privilege mother earth has given to you because all you can think is “Why me? What great have I done?”

And you put yourself in the middle, hold your life in your hands, and everything you were is now nothing. Slowly you fade from the minds of others because everyone you knew is now forgetting or departing as well from the earth, becoming only a painful memory of why?

Life, it’s a fragile thing isn’t it?

You know those late nights, where you just want to kill yourself, just to make sure you’re were alive, that everything you had seen, the sins, the good, the evil, the beauty, everything. That it was real and you lived it all.


Happy readings!


Finally blogged haha!

– Marz.



Night time

It’s not me.

I should be jumping with joy. I should be happy to hear those words. those three words that forever let go. Though in reality it just made me feel even more of a bitch and slowly pained me inside, it is crazy sometimes having a sad feeling for someone you have never met before?.

That is not me, it is not how I am suppose to be. I am Marz, a humble and quiet awkward teenage girl, sweet and willing to help even those people I never approved of. So why am I starting to turn into something so sinister? Is this really what all this time passed has done to me? Just thrown me into loops of emotions and mindsets? I am not like the others, possessive and crazy. No that is not me.

To what do I really have to worry about? I have everything at my fingertips right? I suppose that is what could make me a brat, I can manipulate and gain information, make and take friends and leave them (if I really was that evil) , I have a pretty good love-life. Parents, both with jobs, a home and all, clothes on my back sometimes even designer brands. So what do I have to worry about right? I have everything, but is it worth it?

ah, we get to the main question, is everything worth it? the risks? the time? the life? MY life? was it well spent?

All these questions.

I am going crazy, no not crazy, I feel like I am changing, growing?

I read it all, well mostly of what I wanted to be informed with… I carry my opinions quietly though, it is a rather sensitive topic, not just for them but perhaps for me as well. So with that I leave.

Happy readings 🙂

– Marz

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It’s not me.