Turtle Trouble.

So this is Vincent Apollo,  

(Vincent Apollo Rodriguez Broom, is actually his full name)

He is a cool little guy, makes me smile. 

Keeps me company and makes me happy. So yea I would say I have pretty cool pet. 

Likes to swim and sit on his rock, and eat. 

I would say I am pretty lucky.

Anyways Random post is done!

Enjoy life.


Turtle Trouble.

Hallmarks, Rants and Patheticness.

I am allowed to be in a rant right? Nobody ever said that was not allowed. After all this is my blog, and I think I can freely express myself as I please to do. So… where have I been in my own life? Well there are my days where I stop and think “Marz, what in the hell are you doing with yourself?” And the sad part is, I can not answer to that properly because truthfully I do not even know. What human actually enjoys being put through endless loops and routines?

I don’t like to think that I am selfish or anything, but I just feel like it is time that I deserve something, after everything… no that is horrible of me to say. I think I just deserve some respect and each time I feel like I lose more and more dignity in myself. There is a battle that I seek, a fight. You know, someone to fight for you and have that fear. Cliche? And as this dreaded hallmark holiday draws closer, I cannot help to feel even more un-wanted. I lied, I cannot say that I am not wanted, because I am, although not for the reasons that I wish to be. The want that I seek, well *sigh*…

I can’t, anyways should I just continue ranting about my lack of trust in people, the lonesome feelings, wah wah wah, who called in the WAHmbulence….

Pathetic, I am a pathetic teenage human.

I always like to keep in mind though:

That I am special, and someone grand deserves me… someone with so much love in themselves is going to find me and share that with me. And they will be afraid to lose me, and they will protect and care, and I shall do the same in return.

Oh what a cliche,


Who will be my valentines this year? I suppose I can share that after.

Happy Single Awareness day, I mean Valentines day 🙂


Hallmarks, Rants and Patheticness.

Prime Suffering.

I have been trying to think of countless ways to start making this blog a bit more, hmm interesting? Give readers more an insight of what they might be dealing with here (a true heart bad ass).  I was thinking of vlogging? sounds good? Although due to my lack of computer/internet skills I am not very capable of starting one. Besides what would I even talk about? How lame the drinking age is? How I am at the bottom of some popularity pyramid? Prama drama (prom)? My love life and friends? Become like the next gossip girl? Can someone just scream out cliche while they are at it and slap me upside the head. The other idea was just filming short scenes around my home and school, meshing into one thing. Then I realized that I sound like a 12 year old girl talking on a recording…

I need help.

Well, I am not going mental… not yet at least, but it just has felt so unmotivated these past days, perhaps even weeks. I am stressing out already for my last year, and I just wish sometimes I had this red button to skip a couple of years. Then I just remember little miss sunshine.

Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
Dwayne: He’s the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he’s also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh… he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, ’cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn’t learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you’re 18… Ah, think of the suffering you’re gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don’t get better suffering than that.

So in any case of me just whining around like a complete ungreatful brat, or stressing out to the point where I think I might go bald, I am just trying to stay happy. Calm. Relax. Keep it cool. Everyone around me has been telling me to relax.

So on that note I leave that to be, I have seemed to acquire other things.

By the way, I could use some really good Mexican Food.


– Marz


Happy Readings 🙂


Prime Suffering.

Sometimes I talk.

I was always a strange kid, and it’s not the first time I have stopped to realize this, with a huge age gap between my sister and I, we were always in different phases.

I enjoyed destroying barbies and playing with my neighbors and rolling around in grass while my sister enjoyed ballet and painting.

I remember when in younger years I was always independent, I kept myself company and stayed to myself, I loved it when I was home alone because it gave me a chance to be silly. I would talk and make up scenes from movies, sing as loud as I can, dress up in my mothers heels and clothes and walk around like I run the place. I would pretend I was at a restaurant and serve myself water in the wine glasses and the waiter that was me, the cashier was me, the snobby lady who was always upset and unsatisfied was me as well. I played all my creations. I ran a one-woman show. I imagined next to myself with cartoon and t.v show characters and fighting there adventures next to them.

Only by my self though, I suppose I was scared of being judged by others, I was always a shy kid growing up and to this day I still am, I am not out-going and wild.

I still talk to myself, I take a voice recorder and I record my thoughts, I try to piece everything together as it is when I feel troubled. I enjoy the feeling of isolation.

My backyard in the summer has bushes and trees growing and a small up hill, I would climb up there with a stick and pretend it was a sword, and I was traveling through a jungle to find exotic plants and animals, when I would go bike riding I’d find a small stick and pretend that it was a magic wand and the bike was my broom stick or I was on some giant race track and I was that bad ass chick that could kick any-guys ass.

Those are memories to me worth keeping all.

Sometimes, it makes me wish I was younger again when things felt so uncomplicated, I always lay in bed and think that maybe all this was just a dream, everything that has happend was all a dream and I am really just four years old still that I had fallen into some kind of coma or deep sleep from falling off my tire swing or my bike and when I wake up I will see my small hands and feet and all I can say is “I just had the most strange dream ever, I was older and in high school”



Happy readings.



Sometimes I talk.

Hello 2012

Greetings and salutations to the new year. Hurrah for 2012 I have done it! 365 days without dying. A New year, it offers people a chance to “erase” everything from the past and start the new year with a clean fresh start. Unfortunately for me, I think I would do anything to go back now. I will be honest, I did not intend to spend my last minutes of  2011 huddled over a trash can, vomiting on my boyfriend. OH the shame. One thing I knew though, I was not myself, and I know they say its wrong to hate yourself, but I think I can be the judge of that. I was seeking for that feeling of blank, that ‘not giving a shit’, I suppose after going through some down days, a little of this and that wouldn’t feel   like anything but sanctuary. I knew it wouldn’t do anything, drinking the night away won’t make anything go away.
Mortified and scarred for what now the 2012 has to offer for me, a college acceptance letter? A new outlook on life, honestly after surviving from last night, I think I will be prepared for anything. Yea… Sounds corny I get it. So, for the next holidays and events I have made a mental check list to keep in mind.

  • When you feel like your about to drop, please just STOP don’t roll.
  • Slow the fuck down… It is not a race.
  • Don’t listen to LMFAO before hand… Or really any kind of party hard songs…
  • If you dress all pretty with make up and all, try to leave like that.
  • Do not make friends with the floor and walls.
  • Don’t mix so much, treat it like when you do your laundry.
  • Keep in mind: you’re not one of the guys, you are a woman.
  • Have class, please! Please! Please!
  • Don’t get so “aggressive” it’s not sexy.
  • Listen to the person saying “I think you’ve had enough” <— IMPORTANT

Anyway… Over all I think It was a decent year, a lot changed I suppose but thats what time does after a while. We grow up, make mistakes, cry, smile. We live, I suppose that is the beauty about it. Reflection: I could retrace every memory and diary entry I have to tell you the ups and downs of my year, I am sure many have done that by now. Or go into detail how I will be very determined to accomplish my resolution goal, which by the way are always a fail. They are stupid, I mean the ideas are great, but instead of telling everyone or posting it up on your social network, why not actually go forward and show it? And when it is done you can proudly just say “It was my goal, and I did it!”
Hello 2012, I can’t wait to see what the year has to offer, I figured that if I keep an optimistic outlook, then it will be like that (I hope).

So lets raise our glasses (non-alcohol please) and toast to the new year! Cheers to the new and improved better us? Right. Changes, they can be friendly.

LETS GO 2012!
Hello 2012