Stolen Youth

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Stolen Youth

DEFENSE-*less*.

I am as defenseless as the spider.

No that is a lie, because even the spider can defend themselves.

Spider atleast can spin a web and capture their prey, they can defend themselves.

But I? nothing, nothing to wrap myself around with, nothing to turn to for saftey,

I am the prey. And I shall remain the prey.

 

DEFENSE-*less*.

My turn.

when is it my turn to fucking be miserable? No because for Marz, thats never allowed to be anything but happy and there for friends and comfort them and give them fucking advice and guide them, Marz is never allowed to cry or be a fucking pussy about shit nope nope nope thats just not in the cards for Marz, she has to be strong for everyone because everyone needs that type of person right? Well when is it my turn to fucking hit rock bottom? I never got that feeling for myself when I feel like I am alive because I am so close to letting death take me. I want to feel that rock bottom and let myself go and not care who is looking and who is judging me, I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about it. And when I am done, This relief will just fly over me and everything will feel lighter and just so much better for me, my mind, my body, my soul. I want it to hit me, just fucking hit me. Slap me around a bit, bruise me. Leave its scars all over my skin. I want to feel for once something different. Fucking let it choke me until I’m begging for some air. I want it to just hit me, fucking hit me, and do it over and over again. Just let it keep coming at me.

My turn.

Truth to a story.

Air sucked in deeply
Sigh, a lonely sigh heard but ignored
Feet dangling inches from the ground.
Head low away hiding in shame.
The rain channels its way through the creaks
Hit softly at the rotting cardboard.
A story, everyone has a story.
Everyone has something to say
But is silenced by what is put in our minds as
Shame.
Lazy, stupid, disgusting, dirty.
There is truth to it, always a truth.
It’s a matter of finding it.
It is there, written in the weary eyes.
The struggles on there dirt wrinkled hands.
All pain they have endured on there faces.
Day by day.
And everyone else, just walks
Walks by with no knowledge, no perseverance.
Nothing.
They are as trashy and low as the gum left behind
Or a paper just flying around
No purpose.
No life.
They don’t exist in their eyes.

A land of opportunity.

Lies they feed us all.

Happy readings 🙂
~Marz

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Truth to a story.

Mother’s day

We all celebrate this day with the normal flowers and candy and cards. LIke another valentines day but more towards women with children, mothers. Mom, mama, mum, mommy, mami , mother. there are so many names to say to the one person who cared for you since you were in the womb. Mothers. I never had a connection with my mom maybe not like others but  I am greatfull for everything she has done for me and all the love she has given me even in my most horrible state of years. She has put up with all the fucking bullshit and stupid things i have done. And no matter what i do that seems outrages i know she will try to support me in all ways. Im a teenager im suppose to make my mom rip her hair out scream at me and let her anger out. I dont enjoy it and i sure hope she doesnt. But in the end we are together daughter and mother. Its who we are. I appreciate everything she has done for me all the places she opened my eyes towards and the wisdom she has passed down to me. I hope to pass it down to others as well so now putting this into much shorter terms i just want to say that Happy Mothers day to all those wonderful mothers out there and enjoy this glorious day. And remember doesnt matter about where you are a home isnt about the location but the company and love about others that make it feel wholesome.

Happy Readings 🙂

Love,

Mariana

Mother’s day