Games, Torments and Positive Thoughts.

Everything is a game.

A wise move, and then the next is played.

There are no winners, because we always end up losing something, sacrificing, or just letting go.

I tend to ponder upon what my next moves are, it is an idea haunting me at any hour of my days.

I can sit in one place and suddenly BAM it hits me… the thoughts come flushing through me.

My love life, My work life, My home life.

The many lives we come to live all at once to balance in this endless dance of unknown motion.

The personal knick-knacks that seem to hang on a swinging hinge.

Although it has yet to hit me.

No sudden realization, there is no “AH-HA” moment for me.

Yet… is a positive attitude the blinding reason to things?

When someone has lived for so long seeing only good in life and people, it makes it hard to change that view point, even if life and people have not been so kind in return.

I find any excuse of a chance to see the positive.

So when do the games end, and what more will I have to sacrifice, lose, and let go of in order to achieve a sense of reality and life.

An accomplishment can only satisfy for so long, until a craving rises again.


Games, Torments and Positive Thoughts.

Un-Damaging the Damaged

What if two people ‘click’ together?

Easy, they get together, right if only it really was that simple.

What if those two people know they have some form of attraction?

Then they open up about it and show it.

Okay so they start showing it, its fun, its flirty…what now?

Admit that they can’t date..

WAIT, STOP hold on… but how? I don’t understand because this just doesn’t make sense to me?

How can two people that like each other not want to be together? Damaged.

You would think that two people who are damaged with the similar issues would attract like magnets, and think “hey well we’ve been through some similar shit, why not make it fun and easy by getting together”
It is just so perfect! it is so perfect when two people click and when you can finally just be like “whoa I actually enjoy being around you and it’s amazing” it’s like you’re just happy again and you can breathe. There is life in yourself, and this warmth that you have missed so dearly. And suddenly things are clear, its like this euphoric moment. It just seems like perfection, putting two damaged souls together, to help each other slowly heal and realize the true nature of themselves and all the great and good they deserve.

So tell me, why is it so difficult to put one and one together?

Can anyone answer this please?!


Un-Damaging the Damaged

Red and Blue.


You gave me a choice, set out the two options right in front of the table. Can either take the blue pill, or you can take the red pill. You let me choose if I wanted to stay and taken a trip down the rabbit’s hole, or go back into my reality. Gave me the choice to end or keep going.

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like I had taken the red pill, The blue seemed like a good choice, I picked, and you agreed. We did ourselves a favor.

What if I did take the red pill though? Put me back into a fantasy. Take me down that hole of nonsense to seek out the farther turths in life. Would what I wonder now, would have been answered with that red pill? I wouldn’t be thinking what I am now. How much farther down would it have taken me?

There is a reason picked that blue pill, and good reasons, I did a favor. I don’t regret it. Just followed what I thought was best, that blue pill.  The story ended, and that was it. I started a new chapter in my life.

We all pick what we are presented with. And we can either regret in life or keep on moving forward.


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Red and Blue.

With Time


She watches the clock. Slowly changing. The digital dots pulsing foward to her. Each minute of her life wasted by.
She wishes sometimes she can just freeze time in it’s moment.
To take a look around herself of everything she has. Admire the beauty and love before it all disappears or she does. We live fast and die young.
Wishing to keep those she loves closer than ever before. Make sure they don’t leave her sight. Time consumed everyday, time never hesitates just keeps going.
She wants to stay in place, everything happens to quickly for all. Even of it doesn’t seem so.
Fast foward…
She wonders, who will she be leaving behind, who will be leaving her? Where will be the next place she will be watching time?
Looking down from a 10 story apartment window.
Glancing at a laptop from a desk with others around.
Analog clock hands
tick tick tick tick
Face growing older.
Soul growing wiser.
Glancing back to a grandfather clock to outlook the old streets and Spanish. tongue echoing through the walls.
A foreign land where perhaps numbers is only what she can read, military, twelve. Does not matter, the time is still going staring out at nothing familiar that seems like home to her.
Time is ticking, coming to that end were decisions will have to be made, where to live, who to be with, how to live her own life. The sacrifices, those left behind, that are now just kept as memories to her. Crazy. Sometimes just crazy.
Only with time, she will know.
Freezing time, having it all to herself, she could hold on to everything and never have to worry about letting go. Selfish she thinks its greedy she shakes her head.
Tick tock tick tock

With Time

Suffering = happy highschool?

I have heard people say that “the meaning of life is suffering”

okay sure I suppose that can make sense if you want to go all Marcel Proust.

Though here is another thing I have heard

“High school are the best years of your life you will come to live.”

So, if that is the case with high school and its connection to life, would that mean that you suffer through highschool?

That high school are your prime suffering years?

It’s just one of those “1 am” thoughts you get.

– Marz

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Suffering = happy highschool?